What Is the Shit?

“The shit isn’t just your loss. It’s the lies, the silence, the guilt, and the pressure that come with it.” 

When I say Grieve That Shit, I’m not only talking about the heartbreak of losing your person. I’m talking about everything else that stacks on top of it. The lies. The pressure. The shame. The silence. That’s the shit. 

Nobody tells you how heavy it gets. You’re already dealing with the loss itself, and then the world starts adding weight: 

• Time heals all wounds. 

• They wouldn’t want you to be sad. 

• Don’t cry too much, it makes people uncomfortable. 

• Aren’t you over this yet? 

That’s the shit. It’s the garbage advice, the awkward silences, the way people disappear because they don’t know what to say. It’s the guilt for laughing when you think you shouldn’t, or the guilt for not crying when others expect you to. 

And then there’s the physical toll. Grief is not just an emotion. It’s in your bones, your gut, your chest. The headaches. The exhaustion. The brain fog. That’s the shit nobody warns you about. 

Here’s the truth: the shit is not your fault. You didn’t create it. You didn’t ask for it. But it’s sitting on your chest every day, convincing you that you are broken. You’re not broken. You’re grieving. 

So how do you start? You name it. You stop swallowing the lies. You stop apologizing for the guilt. You stop letting silence isolate you. You say out loud: This is the shit I’ve been carrying. 

Because the minute you name it, you take your first step toward healing. 

Your Next Step 

Grab a notebook and make your list. What’s the shit you’re dealing with? Is it the bad advice? The avoidance? The guilt? The pressure? Write it down. All of it. Don’t pretty it up. Don’t soften it. Just name it. 

That’s your pile. That’s the weight. And the only way through is to grieve it. 

Final Thought 

Grieving your person matters. But grieving the shit around the loss, the lies, the silence, the guilt, is just as important. Until you face that, you’ll always feel like you are drowning in it. Naming the shit doesn’t erase it, but it gives you a way to start moving through it. 

Let’s stop pretending grief is tidy. Let’s stop carrying the weight of all this alone. Let’s grieve that shit. 

Resources + Next Steps 

• Download your free eBook: https://stan.store/TheGriefSchool