"Avoiding the pain won't make it go away—it only teaches it to hide."
In this episode of Grieve That Shit, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker breaks down one of the sneakiest traps that keeps grievers stuck: avoidance. When life shatters, the natural instinct is to run from the pain, to stay busy, and to pretend you're doing fine. But as Sharon reminds us, ignoring grief doesn't erase it—it buries it.
This episode dives deep into what happens when we try to outsmart our pain. Sharon explains why our brains convince us to avoid reminders of our person, how distraction becomes a survival skill that turns into a lifestyle, and how avoidance slowly shrinks our world until even joy feels out of reach. She shares real, compassionate tools to help you stop running from grief and begin facing it—one small, brave step at a time.
What You'll Learn in This Episode
Why grief convinces you that avoiding pain will make it fade
The difference between healthy, temporary breaks and lifelong avoidance
How avoidance shows up in daily life—from over-cleaning to staying "too busy"
Why the longer you avoid your grief, the smaller your world becomes
Simple, gentle steps to start meeting your grief instead of running from it
Homework for You
Take five quiet minutes this week to notice when you avoid your feelings.
Ask yourself:
1. What emotion am I trying not to feel right now?
2. Where do I feel it in my body?
3. Then set a time limit for your avoidance.
4. Give yourself permission to take a break, but also promise yourself to come back—to cry, to write, to feel. That's how you begin to heal.
Resources + Next Steps
Check what's happening in the Grief School: clickhereforhope.com
Join Grief Study Hall – live support with Sharon every Tuesday at 1 PM CST
Sign up for the Surviving Christmas Masterclass on November 8th to create your holiday grief plan
Follow Sharon on TikTok and YouTube at @thegriefschool