Grieve That Shit — feelings reference

Grief isn't one feeling.
It's a whole vocabulary.

"Sad." "Mad." "Fine." Grief needs more words than that. This sheet holds over 200 words, sorted into 11 emotional families, so you can name what's actually happening instead of settling for the closest thing.

Sadness

The weight that shows up when something is gone.

SadLonelyHeartbrokenEmptyHopelessDiscouragedDisappointedHurtRejectedDefeatedMiserableSorrowfulDepressedGrievingIsolatedForgottenAbandonedLostCrushedDevastatedBlueGloomyDespairingMelancholyHomesickUnwantedUnlovedFragileDrainedDeflated

Anger

The heat that shows up when something isn't fair.

AngryIrritatedFrustratedBitterResentfulAnnoyedFuriousEnragedImpatientDefensiveOffendedAgitatedOutragedHostileJealousMadFed upDisgustedContemptuousProvokedVengefulIndignantCrossIrritableHeatedExplosiveCriticalSarcasticCynical

Fear

The alarm that shows up when the ground feels unsteady.

AfraidWorriedNervousAnxiousTerrifiedUneasyUncertainHelplessVulnerableUnsafePanickedOverwhelmedInsecureHesitantApprehensiveAlarmedScaredFrightenedCautiousSuspiciousDreadfulTimidShakyRestlessTenseIntimidatedThreatenedConcernedStartledDoubtful

Shame & guilt

The voice that shows up telling you it's your fault.

GuiltyAshamedEmbarrassedRegretfulHumiliatedWorthlessInadequateDefectiveUnlovableBlamedSelf-consciousRemorsefulBrokenExposedPowerlessInferiorSmallStupidWeakDisgracedDishonoredFoolishSelf-criticalUnworthyCondemnedDisappointed in myselfLike a failureFilled with regret

Joy

The lift that shows up when something goes right.

HappyHopefulPeacefulThankfulExcitedLovedEncouragedProudContentOptimisticCalmDelightedInspiredConnectedComfortableSafeCheerfulPlayfulGratefulRelievedEnergizedConfidentBlessedFulfilledSatisfiedAppreciatedFreeRefreshedUpliftedLighthearted

Love & connection

The pull that shows up when you belong to someone.

LovedAcceptedValuedAppreciatedConnectedNeededUnderstoodSupportedTrustedRespectedCared forWelcomedCompassionateAffectionateCloseSecureIncludedCherishedComfortedAdmiredEncouragedLoyalFaithfulKindGentleForgivenEmpatheticNurturedWarmBelonging

Peace & acceptance

The steadiness that shows up after the storm passes.

PeacefulCalmRelaxedContentSettledGroundedBalancedPatientHopefulTrustingAcceptingCenteredSecureConfidentComfortableQuietPresentRestedClearFocusedStableThankfulOpenFlexibleSafeRestoredRenewedWholeHarmoniousAt ease

Surprise

The jolt that shows up when nothing lines up as expected.

SurprisedShockedAmazedStunnedStartledConfusedCuriousSpeechlessAstonishedIn disbeliefBewilderedAwestruckDumbfoundedPerplexedIntriguedFascinatedCaught off guardBaffledFlabbergasted

Disgust

The recoil that shows up when something crosses a line.

DisgustedRepulsedRevoltedSickenedAppalledGrossed outNauseatedHorrifiedDisturbedOffendedTurned offRepelledDisapprovingAshamedContemptuous

Confusion

The fog that shows up when nothing adds up yet.

ConfusedUncertainLostUnsureBewilderedPuzzledDistractedFoggyTornIndecisiveMixed upDisorientedConflictedQuestioningHesitantOverthinkingDoubtfulStuckUnclearScattered

Overwhelm

The flood that shows up when there's too much at once.

OverwhelmedBurdenedExhaustedDrainedBurned outPressuredSwampedStressedDefeatedOverloadedFloodedMaxed outSuffocatedTenseFranticFrazzledPulled apartWeighed downEmotionally spentMentally exhausted

Next time you reach for "sad" or "mad," check this list first. The right word won't fix the grief. But it will help you feel less alone in it — and that's a real step toward healing.

Sharon Brubaker, GS
The Grief School
Grieve That Shit

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Grief isn't one feeling.It's a whole vocabulary.